Your Free Postpartum Planning Guide

Last year, I shared that the Best Thing You Can Do For Yourself when you are pregnant is to create a Postpartum Plan. Well, here I go again emphasizing just that. This time I created a free template that you can use to create your vision for one of the most sacred and vulnerable times in your life. It organizes how you will obtain support, and how you will care for yourself, baby, and family. It also provides some free tips on how to care for yourself emotionally and physically.

Put it on your fridge. Send it to all the pregnant people you know. Shout it from the rooftops! Moms need to know. Everyone in the family needs to know. A birth plan is great. A Postpartum Plan is even better!

For 2024, Allow Yourself to Embrace "Good Enough"

My hope for every mother or parent I work with is that they learn to adopt a close relationship with the concept of being “good enough.” There is so much pressure to be the perfect mother even though we know that perfection is unattainable. The pressure comes in the form of making sure you are doing everything right to care for your baby, spending excessive time and research in getting the right stroller or baby bottle, feeling pressure to bounce back to your pre-baby body, striving for a perfectly clean home, trying to juggle multiple roles without help, agonizing over every parenting decision in an attempt to make the “best choice” and then feeling embarrassed or inadequate if you can’t keep up with the perfection you were seeking. The list goes on.

The notion of perfection is rooted in subjective and unrealistic standards that we set for ourselves, comparing ourselves to other parents, and even societal pressures. Challenging and overcoming this belief requires a combination of self-awareness, self-compassion, and cognitive reframing.

Give yourself a break as we start the new year- ‘good enough’ is actually what your child needs. "Good enough" can be beneficial for several reasons:

1. Reducing Pressure and Stress: Motherhood comes with immense pressure and expectations, both external and internal. Striving for perfection can lead to stress and anxiety. Accepting that being "good enough" is sufficient can help alleviate some of this pressure and allow mothers to focus on the essentials.

2. Realistic Expectations: The reality of parenting often involves unpredictable challenges. Being "good enough" acknowledges that perfection is unattainable and allows moms to set realistic expectations for themselves, promoting a healthier and more sustainable approach to parenting.

3. Self-Compassion: New moms may face physical, emotional, and mental challenges. Embracing the idea of being "good enough" encourages self-compassion. It recognizes that making mistakes is a natural part of parenting and that self-forgiveness is crucial for personal well-being.

4. Building Resilient Children: Children benefit from having parents who model resilience and adaptability. If a mom is constantly striving for perfection, her children might internalize unrealistic expectations. On the other hand, a "good enough" approach teaches children that it's okay to make mistakes and that they don't have to be perfect either.

5. Quality over Quantity: Focusing on being "good enough" allows moms to prioritize quality interactions with their children over the quantity of tasks or activities. This emphasis on meaningful connections can contribute to a positive parent-child relationship.

6. Promoting Self-Care: Striving for perfection may lead to neglecting one's own needs. Embracing the idea of being "good enough" encourages new moms to prioritize self-care, recognizing that taking care of themselves is crucial for their well-being and, by extension, for their ability to care for their children.

It's important to note that being "good enough" doesn't mean neglecting responsibilities or not striving for improvement. Instead, it emphasizes a more balanced and compassionate approach to parenting, acknowledging that perfection is unattainable and that doing one's best is sufficient.

Best Thing You Can Do For Yourself When You Are Pregnant: Create A Postpartum Plan

Please Do this for your future self

Creating your Postpartum Plan 101:

Prenatal appointments focus on development of the fetus and health of the mother. Regular check-ups and monitoring of the baby's growth are vital to detect any potential complications early on, allowing for timely intervention and management. And rightly so. It is a vulnerable time and prenatal care creates better outcomes for mother and baby.

Also, so much emphasis is given in creating a birth plan. What kind of birth do you want? Do you want pain relief in the form of medication? Who do you want in the room? Do you want to be induced? The questions go on.

But what about after baby arrives? One thing you can do for your future self is to think about how you’d like your Fourth Trimester to go. How do you want it to look? Even if this is your first birth, you can plan for some things to bring you comfort. Think about how you want to be supported.

I’ve created a comprehensive guide to help you navigate the postpartum period:

Before Birth:

1. Create a Support Network: Reach out to family, friends, or a postpartum doula who can offer emotional support, help with household chores, and provide guidance during this time.

2. How will you communicate with your partner when things get hard? Talk with your partner soon to plan for how you’d like to tackle difficult conversations after baby.

3. Prepare Meals: Cook and freeze nutritious meals in advance, or consider meal delivery services. Nutrient-rich foods will aid in your recovery and energy levels.

4. Arrange Help: Plan for someone to assist you with household tasks, childcare, and errands for the first few weeks.

5. Stock Up on Essentials: Ensure you have diapers, wipes, baby clothes, feeding supplies, and any other baby essentials ready before the baby arrives.

6. Create a Comfortable Space: Set up a cozy and organized space where you can rest, nurse, and bond with your baby.

7. Learn About Breastfeeding: Attend breastfeeding classes, if possible, and gather resources for breastfeeding support.

8. Just in case, research some Postpartum Therapists to have at the ready in case you have symptoms that go beyond “baby blues.”

During the Postpartum Period:

1. Self-Care: Prioritize your own well-being. Rest when you can, stay hydrated, and eat nourishing foods.

2. Accept Help: Don't hesitate to accept assistance from friends and family. Let them know how they can best support you.

3. Sleep: Sleep deprivation is common with a newborn. Try to nap when your baby sleeps, and consider sharing nighttime duties with a partner if possible.

4. Feeding: Whether breastfeeding or formula-feeding, follow your baby's cues. Reach out to a lactation consultant or pediatrician for any feeding concerns.

5. Routine Medical Visits: Schedule postpartum check-ups for both you and your baby. Monitor your physical and emotional well-being closely.

6. Emotional Health: Keep an eye out for signs of postpartum depression or anxiety. Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're struggling emotionally.

7. Bonding: Spend quality time bonding with your baby through skin-to-skin contact, talking, and gentle touch.

8. Limit Visitors: While visitors mean well, limit their number during the early weeks to avoid overwhelming yourself.

9. Maintain Communication: Keep open lines of communication with your partner. Discuss responsibilities, emotions, and adjustments regularly.

Beyond the First Few Weeks:

1. Gradual Resumption of Activities: As you feel comfortable, gradually resume light exercises and social activities.

2. Parenting Classes: Consider taking parenting classes to gain knowledge and confidence in your new role.

3. Personal Time: Make time for yourself, even if it's just a short walk or a relaxing bath. Self-care remains important.

4. Connect with Other Parents: Join local parenting groups or online communities to connect with other parents who can relate to your experiences.

5. Continued Support: Maintain your support network and don't be afraid to seek assistance as needed.

Remember that every postpartum experience is unique. Be patient with yourself, and don't hesitate to adjust your plans as you go along. Flexibility is key during this transformative time.

Outside support is available too. Please reach out for extra support during this time including from a counselor, doula, therapist, or medical professional. You are not alone.

How To Choose a Therapist

How To Choose A Therapist

time to take inventory of your preferences

Welcome to your journey to find support. Glad you can make it. It is not easy to even make the first steps. You know, vulnerability. It’s hard.

Choosing a psychotherapist is an important decision that can have a significant impact on your mental and emotional well-being. Here are some steps to help you find the right psychotherapist for your needs:

• Identify your specific needs: Determine what issues or challenges you want to address in therapy. Different psychotherapists have expertise in various areas, such as anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship issues, etc. Understanding your needs will help you find a therapist with the appropriate specialization.

• Research different types of therapy: There are various approaches to psychotherapy, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, humanistic therapy, and more. Research these different types to see which one aligns best with your preferences and goals.

• Seek recommendations: Reach out to friends, family, or colleagues who have experience with psychotherapy and ask for recommendations. Personal referrals can be valuable as they come from people you trust.

• Check credentials and licenses: Ensure the therapist is licensed and accredited by a reputable professional organization. Check their qualifications, education, and certifications to ensure they have the appropriate training to provide psychotherapy.

• Read reviews and testimonials: Look for reviews or testimonials from previous clients to get a sense of the therapist's effectiveness and approach.

• Consider logistics: Think about practical considerations such as the therapist's location, office hours, fees, and payment options. Make sure the logistics are manageable and convenient for you.

• Interview potential therapists: Many therapists offer a free initial consultation or a brief phone call. Take advantage of this to get to know the therapist and ask questions about their approach, experience, and how they handle specific issues. This interaction will give you a sense of their personality and whether you feel comfortable talking to them.

• Trust your gut: Pay attention to how you feel during the interview or initial consultation. Trust your instincts; if you feel comfortable and understood, that's a positive sign.

• Consider cultural fit: If cultural background or beliefs are essential to you, look for a therapist who understands and respects your cultural values and perspectives.

• Check for ethical standards: Make sure the therapist adheres to ethical standards and guidelines set by professional organizations.

• Evaluate the therapeutic relationship: Remember that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is crucial to successful therapy. The therapist should be empathetic, non-judgmental, and genuinely interested in your well-being.

• Be open to change: If you find that you're not making progress or don't connect well with a therapist after a few sessions, it's okay to switch therapists. Sometimes, finding the right fit may take some trial and error.

Overall, choosing a psychotherapist is a personal process. Take your time to do your research, ask questions, and find someone who can support you on your journey to better mental health. You deserve it.