My hope for every mother or parent I work with is that they learn to adopt a close relationship with the concept of being “good enough.” There is so much pressure to be the perfect mother even though we know that perfection is unattainable. The pressure comes in the form of making sure you are doing everything right to care for your baby, spending excessive time and research in getting the right stroller or baby bottle, feeling pressure to bounce back to your pre-baby body, striving for a perfectly clean home, trying to juggle multiple roles without help, agonizing over every parenting decision in an attempt to make the “best choice” and then feeling embarrassed or inadequate if you can’t keep up with the perfection you were seeking. The list goes on.
The notion of perfection is rooted in subjective and unrealistic standards that we set for ourselves, comparing ourselves to other parents, and even societal pressures. Challenging and overcoming this belief requires a combination of self-awareness, self-compassion, and cognitive reframing.
Give yourself a break as we start the new year- ‘good enough’ is actually what your child needs. "Good enough" can be beneficial for several reasons:
Reducing Pressure and Stress: Motherhood comes with immense pressure and expectations, both external and internal. Striving for perfection can lead to stress and anxiety. Accepting that being "good enough" is sufficient can help alleviate some of this pressure and allow mothers to focus on the essentials.
Realistic Expectations: The reality of parenting often involves unpredictable challenges. Being "good enough" acknowledges that perfection is unattainable and allows moms to set realistic expectations for themselves, promoting a healthier and more sustainable approach to parenting.
Self-Compassion: New moms may face physical, emotional, and mental challenges. Embracing the idea of being "good enough" encourages self-compassion. It recognizes that making mistakes is a natural part of parenting and that self-forgiveness is crucial for personal well-being.
Building Resilient Children: Children benefit from having parents who model resilience and adaptability. If a mom is constantly striving for perfection, her children might internalize unrealistic expectations. On the other hand, a "good enough" approach teaches children that it's okay to make mistakes and that they don't have to be perfect either.
Quality over Quantity: Focusing on being "good enough" allows moms to prioritize quality interactions with their children over the quantity of tasks or activities. This emphasis on meaningful connections can contribute to a positive parent-child relationship.
Promoting Self-Care: Striving for perfection may lead to neglecting one's own needs. Embracing the idea of being "good enough" encourages new moms to prioritize self-care, recognizing that taking care of themselves is crucial for their well-being and, by extension, for their ability to care for their children.
It's important to note that being "good enough" doesn't mean neglecting responsibilities or not striving for improvement. Instead, it emphasizes a more balanced and compassionate approach to parenting, acknowledging that perfection is unattainable and that doing one's best is sufficient.
